More Things We Can Outsource, Besides Prisoners... and Maybe the Government Too

More Things We Can Outsource, Besides Prisoners... and Maybe the Government Too

So, I was sitting here, thinking about this whole outsourcing idea. We're sending prisoners to India, saving a fortune. It's a beautiful thing, really. But why stop there? What else is costing us a small fortune?

Well, there's the National Health Service (NHS). Always needing more money, more staff, more everything. Maybe we could outsource some of the simpler procedures. Cataract surgery? Hip replacements? Send 'em off to Thailand! Beautiful beaches, good doctors, probably cheaper than a cup of tea in a London hospital. Think of it as "medical tourism" with a national health discount.

Then there's... oh, I don't know... street cleaning! Seems like we never have enough street sweepers. The streets are always dirty. Why not hire a private company from, say, Estonia, to keep our streets clean? They're good at that sort of thing, apparently. And they probably don't expect a fortune in overtime.

But the biggest savings… the biggest savings could come from outsourcing… the government.

Yes, you heard me right. Outsource the Prime Minister and his Cabinet.

Now, I’m not saying they’re bad people. Well, maybe a few of them are. But they're expensive people. The salaries, the staff, the official cars, the fancy buildings... it adds up!

Why not hire a consulting firm from, say, Switzerland, to run the country? They're good at managing money, neutral, and probably have experience dealing with difficult people. We could pay them a flat fee, and they'd have to balance the budget, keep the trains running on time, and try not to start any wars. If they fail, we just fire them and hire another firm. It's just business, right?

And think of the perks! No more political spin! No more ridiculous debates in Parliament! Just efficient, Swiss-style governance. Maybe a little boring, but boring is better than broke.

Of course, there would be some opposition. "But Andy," they'd say, "it's undemocratic!" Undemocratic? What's so democratic about a bunch of politicians arguing all day and accomplishing nothing? At least a Swiss consulting firm would get the job done.

And I'm not saying we'd outsource everything. We'd still need a King or Queen. Someone to wave and look regal. That's important for tradition. And maybe a few token politicians, just for show.

Look, I’m just throwing ideas out there. We need to think outside the box, folks. The country's broke, the trains are delayed, and the politicians are arguing about Brexit again. Maybe it's time to try something different.

Maybe it's time to let the Swiss run the show. What do we have to lose? Besides a few more pounds.