Everything's Got Brains Now, Hasn't It?

 

Everything's Got Brains Now, Hasn't It?

You can't switch on the television these days without some fella in a crisp shirt telling you how their new washing machine is now powered by artificial intelligence. Artificial intelligence! Last time I checked, my washing machine just needed water, soap, and to be plugged in. Now it's got a brain? What's it going to do, start sorting my socks by itself? I doubt it.

It's the same with everything, isn't it? The advertisements are crawling with this 'AI' business. Your new car has AI to help you park, your thermostat has AI to figure out when you like the heating on, even your toothbrush probably has AI to tell you you're not brushing properly. You'd think we were all a bunch of nitwits who can't manage simple tasks anymore.

Remember when they used to just tell you what something did? This car has a good engine, this soap gets you clean. Simple. Now, it's all about the 'cutting-edge AI algorithms' and the 'seamless integration of intelligent technology'. Sounds impressive, I suppose, but does my toast taste any better because the toaster has AI? I haven't noticed.

It reminds me a bit of when everything was 'new and improved'. You'd buy the same old product in a different box, and they'd slap 'new and improved' on it like it was the eighth wonder of the world. This AI thing feels a bit like that, a new buzzword to make the ordinary sound extraordinary.

And what happens when this AI goes wrong? My neighbour's 'smart' television decided it didn't like his viewing habits and kept changing the channel. Who's going to fix these things when their 'intelligence' has a glitch? Will we need AI mechanics now? It all sounds like more trouble than it's worth.

Maybe I'm just getting old. But I liked things better when a spade was just a spade, and my appliances just did what they were supposed to without needing a digital brain. All this AI in advertising makes you wonder if the products themselves aren't all that impressive anymore, so they have to dress them up with a bit of technological mumbo-jumbo. Just give me something that works, and leave the artificial intelligence out of it, thank you very much.