What's The Deal With Wedding Entrance Fees?

 

What's The Deal With Wedding Entrance Fees?

I’ve been watching the news, reading the papers, and I’ve got to ask: what’s with these weddings now? I hear some folks are charging people to get in. An entrance fee. You pay to see two people get married. It used to be, you got an invitation. It was a formal little card, and it was a request. “Please join us,” it would say. Now, it’s a transaction. A ticket.

A wedding is supposed to be the joining of two families. It’s a sacred thing, says the Bible. Two become one. It’s about love and a lifetime commitment, not about balancing the budget for the chicken or the fish. Your parents, your aunts, your cousins—they all come together. They don’t have a little kiosk at the church door with a ticket scanner and a credit card machine.

And isn't that the real problem? We've lost the point. We've become a society where everyone lives a hundred miles apart, and we don't know our neighbors, let alone our extended family. The family unit has been atomized, they call it. We're all little specks, floating around on our own. And without that family support, without that sense of community, I suppose a young couple has to do something. So they turn the most meaningful day of their lives into a fundraiser.

What's next? An entrance fee for the first night of the married couple? You get a little pass to watch them walk into their hotel room. Or maybe they’ll live-stream the whole thing on TikTok, and you can buy virtual roses for a dollar. "Help us fund our honeymoon to Fiji, every purchase helps!"

It's ridiculous. A wedding is a gift. The presence of your friends and family is the most valuable gift there is. When did we decide that was no longer enough? I guess when we decided that everything has a price tag. And once you put a price on love, what do you have left?

The Curious Case of the Human Cattle Market

 

The Curious Case of the Human Cattle Market

You go down to the dating market these days, and it's a sight to behold. Folks standing around, holding up pieces of paper, like they're selling used cars. Or maybe, more accurately, like they are used cars. "One owner, low mileage, good on gas," or something like that. They list their features, their assets, their... specifications. It's a shopping mall, but instead of shoes and shirts, it's people.

Now, in the old days, say, the Middle Ages in England, if you were in the cattle market, you’d be looking for a good cow. A sturdy one, maybe a calf coming along, good for milk or meat or pulling a plow. You’d poke at it, check its teeth, maybe even give it a sniff. And if you liked it, you'd buy it. Simple as that. The cow didn't get to choose you.

But the dating market, oh no, that’s where it gets complicated. Because here, the cattle get to choose back. You might eye up a prize bull, thinking, "Now that's a fine specimen for my pasture." And then the bull looks at you, snorts, and trots off. Or maybe some scrawny little goat comes bleating around, all eager, and you think, "Nah, not my type." And so, you both stand there, the choosers and the chosen, doing a little dance of rejection until, lo and behold, you’re the last ones left. The "older stock," as it were.

Just the other day, I heard about this woman in Hangzhou. Thirty-four, apparently, which in dating market terms is practically ancient history. She spots this fellow, average-looking, about 5'9", nothing special on the outside. But then you peek at his spec sheet: "Annual salary 500k RMB, multiple properties in Hangzhou, studied in America, owns a luxury car." Well, now, that's a different story, isn't it? That's a prize bull in any market.

So, she goes up to him, all enthusiastic, which, I'm told, is unusual for women in these situations. "I'm a go-getter!" she practically shouts. "I’m 300k a year, two apartments, two cars, same height as you! It’s a match made in heaven!" She's practically salivating at the thought of all those apartments and the luxury car.

And what does he say? He crosses his arms, gives a little uncomfortable chuckle, and says, "Uh, I like 'em younger. '94 or later." Can you believe that? This woman is practically offering to bear him eight children – eight! – and he’s still saying no. Says he wants to have three kids, and apparently, a 34-year-old can’t handle that kind of reproductive output. My grandmother had five by the time she was 30, but what do I know?

She even offers to take him to dinner, drive him wherever he needs to go. "We're the strongest match!" she insists. "You'll regret it if I get married tomorrow!" Like she's a limited-time offer at the supermarket.

It’s just… baffling. In the cattle market, if you found a good cow, you took it. You didn't say, "Well, it's a fine cow, but I was hoping for one born in '94 or later, and this one's a '91." You’d just be happy to have a good, healthy cow.

But in the dating market, everyone's looking for something perfect, something that ticks every single box on their imaginary checklist. And then they wonder why they're still standing there, holding their "for sale" signs, while all the "perfect" people are off doing whatever perfect people do. Maybe they’re looking for their perfect match, too.

It makes you wonder, doesn't it? Maybe we should all just go back to the Middle Ages. At least then, you knew where you stood. Or, more accurately, where the cow stood.