An Admission of Henpeckedness

 An Admission of Henpeckedness

I humbly observe that as the Yin (feminine) waxes and the Yang (masculine) wanes, the heroism of women becomes formidable; while men grow weak and women grow strong, the plight of husbands becomes pitiable. When the earthly principle of Kun overrides the heavenly principle of Qian, the authority of the husband falls; when the wife governs the inner quarters and controls external affairs, her influence is at its peak! The social order has indeed declined; is it because the world is filled with the fierce beauties of Yan and Zhao, or because there are too few upright and stout-hearted men in this land? This has been a lamentable truth since ancient times, and it is even more pronounced today.

I was originally a Confucian scholar from a family of high standing, confident in my own grace and beauty. How could I have expected to be matched with a "lioness from the east river"? She is the Great General of our inner chambers, radiating her own glory; while I, the Grand Marshal of those who fear their wives, have no rival in this regard. This is not because southern men are inherently soft, but rather because the winds of the north are exceptionally fierce. Like a fierce deity perched upon a white lotus throne, or a "lipstick tiger" reclining among red brocades.

A single word of provocation brings the weight of the stars crashing down; a momentary frown of hers is as terrifying as a mountain demon. I tremble even while sharing the bed-covers, and I am filled with trepidation when serving her meals. I follow her orders as if they were imperial decrees, listening and obeying her every word. I strictly adhere to the teaching of "the wife sings and the husband follows." When she breaks into a scolding, the best strategy is to act dumb; when she flies into a rage, one might as well accompany it with a forced smile. I must report my departure like a mourning ape wailing at the moon and show my face upon return like an angry horse rushing to its trough.

How shocking it is that I, who usually possess a voice like a booming bell, cannot make a sound in front of my wife. How pathetic it is that even if I were in a state of grand fury, my expression would instantly change upon entering the bedroom. What is truly in my heart? There are indeed reasons for this. Furthermore, my lady often suffers from the "sorrow of gathering firewood" (illness), while I, her official, constantly dream of the "joy of succession" (bearing heirs).

《懼內供狀》

伏惟陰盛陽衰，巾幗之雄可畏；女強男弱，鬚眉之婦堪憐。秉坤而乃以乘乾，夫綱以墮；治內更兼乎正外，妻道何隆！風斯下矣，豈世間多燕趙佳人；教且同焉，實宇內少昂藏男子。慨往古而已然，嘆近今之更甚。

某本儒生，家傳閥閱，自信美如城北，豈其配在河東。號閫內之大將軍，自他有耀；怕老婆之都元帥，舍我其誰？非關南國人柔，倍見北方風勁。鳩槃荼踞白蓮台上，胭脂虎臥紅錦叢中。

一言觸惱，分明太歲當頭；片語加嗔，儼似山魈破膽。抱衿裯猶存觳觫，侍飲食時切悚惶。奉令承教，早等綸音；諭旨之嚴，言聽計從。恪遵婦唱夫隨之訓，破罵總莫妙妝呆，動怒又何妨陪笑。出必告似哀猿唳月，反必面如怒馬奔槽。

可駭者平時聲若洪鐘，到妻前而不聞其響；可憐者縱爾勃然盛怒，入房中而忽改其容。誠何心哉！良有以也。兼之娘子每抱採薪之憂，官人常懷克紹之慶。